The Tale of the Szechuan Peppercorns

Sichuan pepper, Szechwan pepper or Szechuan pepper, a common spice used in Asian cuisine, belongs in the rue or citrus family, and, despite its name, is not closely related to either black pepper or chili pepper.

- Wikipedia

Saturday afternoon, my neighbors and good friends David and Ray went off shopping.  I had the door open, as my cat Jack was playing in the courtyard and I was keeping an eye on him.  As they pass my door, the neighbors announce they are off to try to find Szechuan peppercorns, and if they do, there will be dinner.  I’m not sure whether or not they are actually including me in this, inviting me to dinner, or what, but I wish them well and they take off. 

Later, I get Jack back inside, close the door and start reading.  I’m lost in a book and it’s nearly 8 p.m. before I start to think about making something for myself for dinner.  I get a call from the guys next door about this time.  They’re back from their shopping expedition.  Have you eaten yet, they ask?  No, I haven’t, so I troop happily over next door.

Ray is always experimenting with new recipes.  He's found some recipe online and has made what looks like a delicious dinner.  It's oriental noodles with this pork and mushroom mixture over it.  It really looks yummy.

This looks fairly close to the dish Ray made

Well, I am hungry – I take a big bite – and nearly choke.  I chew thoughtfully, carefully swallow, try to be polite.  What is that horrible taste?  My mouth feels numb and tingly all over.  I try drinking some water – it doesn't help.  The water suddenly tastes carbonated.  What!?

I bravely try another bite before I announce “this is inedible!”  

Now David finally takes a bite.  He makes a face!  “This is completely inedible”, he echoes.

Ray is the last to try it.  He hasn’t really paid attention to us so far and he actually spits out the food.  “Oh my GAWD” he says.

“How many Szechuan peppercorns did you put in?” David asks.

“Three tablespoons.”

THREE.  TABLESPOONS.

We double-check.  The recipe actually calls for 3 tablespoons of the stuff!  It has to be a misprint.

Poor Ray!  This was not his fault at all.

This is such a shame, too, because the other ingredients just look delightful – there’s tender pork strips and fresh mushrooms and other veggies over the noodles.  I’m hungry, but can only stare at the bowl wistfully.

David hastily calls for pizza and we then begin laughing.  The guys dig up every snack product they can find in the house, trying to get the awful taste out of our mouths.  We’re eating mini-babybel cheeses and cinnamon pita chips…

Pita chips

The cinnamon pita chips seem to help.

The guys show me the bag of peppercorns they bought.  These things aren’t actually a pepper, but an aromatic spice.  I open the bag and smell it.  It is so fragrant you could fill sachets with the stuff.  They have been searching for a week to find this locally. The smallest portion they eventually find is a huge bag (the size of a small pillow) that cost them $25.  What they are going to do with the rest of it, I have no idea. 

The pepperoni and black olive pizza and antipasto salad arrive fairly quickly and, finally fed, we settle down to watch a movie that David has taped for us.  It's Parental Guidance with Billy Crystal and Bette Midler.  

The movie is very funny.  I laugh out loud frequently.  

At one point Bette Midler’s character has made a vegetarian meal for the kids and they all take one bite – look at each other – and Billy Crystal’s character says, “I’m calling for pizza”. 

At this point we are all three just cracking up.  “Life imitates ART!” I cry.  “Or should it be, ART imitates LIFE?”  I have no idea.  What an experience.

So, later I'm reading about Szechuan Peppercorns and realize from other recipes I see on-line that usually a 1/2 teaspoon of this spice is enough.  (Obviously 3 tablespoons is way over the top!)  And then I come across this passage:

Sichuan pepper has a unique aroma and flavour that is not hot or pungent like black, white or chili peppers. Instead, it has slight lemony overtones and creates a tingly numbness in the mouth (caused by its 3% of hydroxy alpha sanshool) that sets the stage for hot spices. According to Harold McGee in On Food and Cooking, second edition, p429, they are not simply pungent; "they produce a strange, tingling, buzzing, numbing sensation that is something like the effect of carbonated drinks or of a mild electrical current (touching the terminals of a nine-volt battery to the tongue). 

This is EXACTLY what the experience felt like.

I just couldn't help but share this experience with you, 9-volt battery and all.

Let this be a lesson to you, if you are experimenting, or trying to learn some new Chinese recipes.  

Happy cooking!